amazingguy: behenchod

behenchod

behenchod

uff...seriously bad advertizing...an ad on "behenchod" gets the best advertisement award @Envies, Ogilvy's internal contest as it has stopped participating in contests as it won all awards each time every time.I mean there are so many mind blowing ads out there on tv..leaving all of them and awarding this one...watch this and decide for yourself...i am a journalist i don't mind hate mail..frank opinions are welcome on this. This cannot be the best ad of the year.

 behenchod

Advice for couples: No sex during Navratri

Don’t have SEX , during Navratri…if your husband tries to come close..refuse him..you can do it…it will improve his sperm count as NINE days without sex will make his sperms more vigorous, powerful and more desirous of your companionship on Dassera night. It goes without saying that fasting for nine days helps in detoxification or removal of toxins from the body and improved metabolism resulting in regular periods. All women know that regular workout = regular periods and the more periods you have during the year, higher are your chances of conception. To have a good sex life post conception, you should have a good one before it.
As girls, women in india are taught to endure pain “chup chap” as she will experience pain when her husband lies on top of her on her first night and when she delivers a baby…jeesko dekh kar all pain will vanish. Brainwashing it all is and nothing else. Two decades back, girls in my generation during school had not learnt how to say “fuck” in school, at least I didn’t hear it even though I knew nearly anyone who was anything in school as the vice head boy till 96. All they said was ‘shit’ or ‘yuck’…whenever a teacher screwed any student.They hinted towards their periods as “ aunty aayi hain”, “ I have fever”, “ stomach pain” and a few bold ones said , “I have pain in my laps.” That’s it.It was the maximum they went. We guys either had to understand it or forget it. Guys who had sisters had some idea of PMS/PCOD, but the rest remained clueless till their marriage. On the whole, guys with sisters have had less divorces…just an observation based on empirical data..no thesis to support it and vice versa.
Strong intelligent women do allow their husbands to “put the cassette in reverse” when they don’t want to try missionary or superior as they don’ t have to face the guy during “the act” and its wildly pleasurable. The rush of adrenalin in the veins is thrilling when the cassette is reversed.Most men say that. But the moot point here remains the same…regular fasting = regular flushing up of toxins= improved metabolism=good sex life. For men, strong sperms mean healthier progeny. Navratri is still going on and you can tell me the results on this forum after navratri. I will be eager to hear your story.

Say no to "SEX" tax.

uff..no matter how hard i try to keep myself away from sex news .It still pops in a way that i can't stop myself from protesting. Monday morning 7am Outlook magazine comes in my hands and the first thing i see is this.Now govt wants to ban condom ads during day and showcase them from 11-6pm only. Have they even given thought to the fact that its adults and not children who get embarrassed by condom ads on TV? Condom consumption is going down which will reduce supply and hike up prices to 300 rupees per condom pack of 6 if this ban remains for 1 year.Are we prepared for this "sex tax"? Why should single bachelors like me pay for the fun married folks are having in villages by having 7 children.Time to protest...Say no to "SEX" tax.

Try them out!

Mind blowing sex positions which women like based on their sun-signs...Wide-open Reverse cowgirl, Standing wheelbarrow, Deck-chair,Reverse scoop, Clip,Golden Arch, Stand and deliver, G-force, Amazon, Champagne room, Magic Mountain...fuck ma'an...this article is the bible of desire..someone rightly said...even GOD could not understand women...who are we?

Remember this always!

Dassera..perfect occasion that reminds us of the eternal fact that somebody else's job and wife always appears sexy and a prized possession.You can snatch the job but not the wife else you will be hit in the wrong place like Ravana.The rules of the game haven't changed in a millennium. The only thing you can do is to flirt with them harmlessly because flirting they say is safe sex.

Desire: How it engulfs you during an election campaign!

Desire in men can surface in the most myriad of places, but not during an election campaign. Something very unusual happened that made me pen down these thoughts. The doorbell rang today around noon while I was busy with work. Expecting a package from Amazon, I opened the door only to find a package that I hadn’t bargained for. Standing before me was a woman or should I say a dream-girl in flesh and blood. Tall, lissome, with the most perfect curves, wrapped in an orange chiffon sari was perhaps the most gorgeous political campaigner, I had seen in my life. Her eyes had an fascination that was hard to forget, I felt like drowning in those deep eyes. Not once did my eyes blink as she gave me a pamphlet and urged me to vote for her party. The grace, charm, and charisma she had, she could have easily been the head of a state but I can take a guess that she had certain gravitas. It takes guts for a gorgeous woman to walk into the house of a single bachelor with just a pamphlet in hand. Hungry as I was with desire, wanted to grab her right there right then and smooch her wet lips till death but then realized she is a politician. Her associates would have made mince meat out of me. So my fantasy remained with me as I politely said “Thank you,may the best party win.” Pat came her reply, “Inshallah”…my heart skipped a beat hearing that word…I didn’t want her to go and kept standing there…she knew she had made an indelible impact and my eyes will search for her always…but this election campaign in Bihar and the way it touched my heart shall stay in mind for long.

Going back in time...1995

Reunited with a gem of a friend Manu Arora after twenty years and he gifted me this rare 1995 pic. You can see me wearing three badges standing fifth from the left in the second row. That's how i looked@45kgs and all the girls used to call me "hanger" when i wore a blazer and guys called me "pandu hawaldar".Notice how sexy our vice-principal was in those days wearing a blue saree. She was a model in the 70s and had done a bit role in the James Bond movie "Octopussy" released in 1983. She was also crowned Mrs. Delhi in 1984.No wonder few guys studied and spent more time bird-watching.

Think about this!

Education, marriage, travel were known to be necessary evils...but the way marriages are decaying...the next generation in 2050 will seriously start believing in the futility of man-woman relationships...its a zero sum game in the end..with heavy losses and gains for both partners but still everyone wants to play it.

A bit about that girl-next-door

This one is for those who read celeb gossip..watch this slide show..it has rare pics of Aishwarya in her 20s with her first boyfriend Ranjeev Mulchandani..then of course the Salman,Vivek, Abhishek saga...I don't see much difference in her personal life and that of any Delhi-Bombay diva..nearly all of them have 3-4 boyfriends..one or two in school, then college, then job and most of them marry the one who remains most truthful to them in their "love" career. The difference is that Ash became a world-famous celeb while the rest turn into Sati-savitris @home after marriage, bitch@workplace, bosses for their husbands, teachers for their kids and in their free time visit the facebook pages of their ex-boyfriends to see how much weight their wives have gained. And secretly admire their bodies completely convinced that the world revolves around them.

Circa 2016: Your social profile gets plugged in to wi-fi networks!

Undoubtedly, that’s the biggest advantage consumers will have when wi-fi enabled devices get plugged into your social profile and fetch data from it. Right now your wrist band or bicycle may be tracking the number of calories you burnt and offering the updates on your timeline. But the real fun will begin when the reverse happens.

• So, if you are participating in a high –octane event like a half-marathon your bicycle or treadmill may coax you to run faster, better and spend more time in order to be better prepared for the upcoming event.
• If you have back to back meetings scheduled in different cities or countries, and you have tweeted about them on your facebook or twitter page then your smartphone will give periodic reminders so that you do not miss your all important flight.
• All these phenomenon will initially occur in the developed world where Wi-Fi enabled homes are the norm but the real growth of IOT or internet of things is expected in the developing world.
It’s not that non-English speaking affluent middle-classes are averse to technology or their lack of computer literacy makes them put off electronic purchases. In reality, they want to figure out how these things work and make them an integral part of their lives. No wonder rural areas in developing world have skipped the landline, fixed line phase and leapfrogged directly from postcards to mobiles as they could figure out that the cost of making a call is less than a postcard.
• Chances are they will lap up wi-fi enabled devices, just as fast as they have embraced mobiles and millions of users are expected to join the social media bandwagon in the times to come.
• Keep watching this space, it is bound to get very exciting with technology creating billion dollar industries overnight and making legacy applications obsolete equally faster.
Technology is like a flowing river, it finds its own way through rocks, crevices, mountains by sheer force and reaches humanity bringing all round prosperity along with it.

It happened in 1992

This image takes me back in time to 1992 when was in class 9th and took a fancy to a 12th class girl. I was contemplating about how to "propose"a senior that she got a whiff of it and told her aunt about it who was her local guardian.I had not even proposed her that her aunt jumped the gun and came to the school to "meet me" and "have a word with me". Thankfully, I was absent that day and she met the girl's class teacher who dismissed all her apprehensions saying that Pranav is such a " seedha-sadha" boy.."has been a class prefect for 3 years"...how can he even dream of proposing his senior. She sent her back home fully assured that she has never seen Pranav talking to that girl and she will make sure he doesn't.(God saved me really that day) The next day i was summoned to the staff room in between a bio class. And i could sense that teacher's discomfort about asking me about my adventures in my private life as i was one of her favourite students. She did ask me indirectly about the whole episode and like a "good boy" i feigned " complete innocence" adding that " I am not into all-this." Not been "seen" with the girl worked in my favour and all teachers in the staff room believed, i was "innocent" and it must be some other guy not pranav. In those days proposing your school senior was a cardinal sin at least in our "west-delhi" school and I was let off and the whole incident labelled as just another "rumour" and her aunt labelled "over-possessive." For the next one week, i didn't even say a "Hi" to any girl of her section who were quite used to my attention. They sensed something wrong and found out about her "aunty's misadventure". So they decided to patch-up a truce as women in any country,any geography cannot survive without male attention for long. They wanted me back during lunch-time and my sugar coated compliments. But this time I was careful.For the next three years, i made sure i spent time with girls in areas away from the senior section, the canteen, book-shop, junior's ground and retained my " seedha-sadha" image till i passed out in 1996.But when i stepped in college, i again fell in love on day one with my senior and that streak continued as I dropped the age-barrier and never stopped short later in life when it came to asking out seniors, bosses, employers, clients and losing them all until i realized " some-things never change and some men also never change".There is a saying in Hindi "Poot ke paon paalne mein hi nazar aa jaate hain" which means you can figure out how your kid is going to turn up right when he is only an infant. The photograph on the right quite rightly sums up what this piece is all about. The girl in question, I presume got married to an army-man and has two 15-year old sons. I sent her a friend -request on facebook after 23 years which she didn't accept and i still don't know why? Some women also, (i think), never change.

Diwali: The festival of beauty!

What an avalanche of beauty it was…logging into my facebook account today. So many beautiful pics, all cascading together on my screen one after another and making it a sight to behold. Diwali was supposed to be a festival of lights celebrating the victory of good over evil but  it now appears to be a festival of beauty—celebrating the beauty of the ideal Indian woman in all her roles—mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in law, friend, colleague. Diwali seems to hold more meaning for women as compared to men.

Most husbands across geographies and time-zones preferred to stick to simple colours when it came to choosing the right traditional outfit for diwali. And they allowed their wives to hog all the limelight with hundreds of likes streaming on each photograph. But the women really impressed…red, yellow, maroon, white…every conceivable colour was combined with pure gold ornaments for the right effect. Black the universal colour to hide curves was given a miss…and so were salwar kameez it was sarees all the way.

Most of us still need a guiding light

I have been using social media for more than a decade now since orkut brought us all together and like a shameless voyeur I read every scrap, saw every photograph that was uploaded. Talking about Orkut in 2015 is like talking about nether regions…no one wants to admit that they read each other’s scarp books. But one thing is sure, faith in god has increased over time.

• Money, technology, global influence…these are elements which make man independent of God and more in control of his life but I don’t see that happening for the next 30-40 years. Deep down everyone wants to stay connected to a higher power, a guiding light and people with billions stashed in their bank accounts, who grace my list are still as ordinary in front a “diya” as any other mortal.
• If festivals like Diwali can strengthen man-woman relationships, I pray that all 200+ countries of the world celebrate it as it would bind the western societies together that are struggling to hold together the basic unit of family.
• Indians, manage such large families, so effortlessly, probably because our calendar is conceived in such a way that makes men and women think about friends and family at least once in a month under some pretext be it Holi, Eid, Rakhi, Dassera, Diwali, Lohri...we in India are still together probably because we have these auspicious days to bind us together.

Was it something special?

Lastly, I did notice a glow on the face of these women…I’m sure husbands did play some role in ensuring that their wives had that much-needed glow on their faces all evening. Can’t elaborate on this…all of you are intelligent enough to understand what I want to say and what I don’t want to say. Most men whom I saw yesterday in the photographs were still as much in love with their wives as they were ten years back during orkut days, though I feel they love their kids more than their partners. Even though most wives are no longer as sexy as they were ten years ago, I still don’t see an iota of disenchantment amongst men for their wives who may have acquired those love handles. They fully know they are in right hands and would eat food prepared by their better half and no one else.